I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how much I love these three beautiful women. And when I say beautiful, I don’t just mean outward (though that is true too). For now, I’m talking about the inward. These women have some precious hearts. Each one has a different story. They come from different parts of the country with different backgrounds and nuances to their lives. They each have unique gifts and strengths and passions. They have each touched my heart in different ways as I have watched them seek to live out their faith with fear and trembling before our good and gracious God.
The glue that binds us together? Our husbands are all ministry staff at our church. As the lead pastor’s wife, I have the privilege of loving on these girls and getting to do life with them. Sometimes that means just the four of us getting away for the weekend. Sometimes it means reading a book together or grabbing dinner out or huddling up together on a Sunday morning to pray for each other. Sometimes it just means texting funny GIFs to each other. However it looks, I know for sure that we need it.
Because being a ministry wife is a unique thing for a few reasons:
- Our husbands live pretty public lives so that often means we live pretty public lives.
- The health of our families can directly affect the health of our church so we each feel an extra sense of stewardship as we live out Biblical womanhood.
- A healthy, local church is more like a family than a job. Which is a beautiful thing. But, it also means a level of vulnerability and friendship among the staff and the congregation that I wouldn’t necessarily have with my husband’s work relationships if he were the CEO of a corporation.
- Ministry is demanding and sometimes very weighty. Our husbands don’t clock in and clock out. They just don’t. There are days when they come home bearing heavy burdens. Most of those are confidential issues and not things they share with us; but I can tell when my man comes home saddened by something that is happening with one of his church members.
- People don’t always like the decisions our husbands make or the things they say from up front. Remember #3? So, yeah, that feels kind of yucky sometimes.
- Spiritual battle is real. And leadership is often at the center of it.
Those are not complaints. They’re just realities. All four of us love what God is doing in our midst and we adore our church family. Thankfully, we are part of a church culture that values authenticity coupled with the gospel. So, I don’t feel a ton of pressure to be a perfect family. People are very gracious with my kids and me.
But, I’m so grateful for this little circle of staff wives who “get” me and the life to which God has called me. I love that we have each other’s backs and pray for each other and invest in each other. In the last year alone, we have cried together and laughed together and celebrated together and talked deeply about the things of God together.